The Manuel Ortiz Show

zothree:

UCLA: Two. 1 to change the bulb, and another to call their friends at USC and tell them how they changed it just as well and for much cheaper.

CAL: Three. 1 to change the bulb and two to debate about the metaphysical state of the bulb and how its invention has impacted human development.

UCSD: Five. 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to start smoking weed until the room spins.

UCI: Eleven. 1 to change the bulb and ten to sit around watching because honestly, what else is there to do at Irvine past 10pm??

UCR: Three. 1 to steal the bulb, another to drive the getaway car, and the last to call all his friends to throw the celebration party on a Tuesday night.

UCSB: Seven. 1 to screw the bulb and 6 to screw each other.

UC Davis: Zero. There is no electricity in Davis.

UC Merced: Two. One to hold the bulb while the other calls his friend asking for help in figuring out this “new college thing.”

UCSC: None since they are living in the forest

UC Merced: Two. One to buy the bulb with their refund check and one to screw it in.

(Source: therezfam)